frozen

frozen in time
a place i never want to leave
but know i must

wondering of the cruelest
actions of man
the choices of god
lead us where we've been

when each step
seems to take us farther
from where we want to go

what is the plan?
what is the point?
where is the reason?

you ask me to trust
you ask me to let go
how can god have a plan?
what happens to our will?

i can't believe
a loving god
plans for so much pain
that is not the god i believe in

i can only surrender so much to you
before i give up
when you leave me so little to believe in
o great and mighty god

i have emptied my heart and soul for you
and come up empty handed
sorrowful
what then do you want from me?
what more can i give?

everything in me is frozen

empty
barren
don't ask for anything
i have nothing to give
not now

i wait for the thaw
view the destruction
and at last see the smallest buds
of new life...
maybe then, god
maybe then i will understand