Immutable

My heart is hidden and my mind closed off. I can't reopen what was just opened, not for anyone else.
The irony and the shock of it all isn't lost on me. The relationship ended and a floodgate opened....a tour of duty completed, someone I thought was gone, returns. And maybe if that had been earlier, before all of *this* hit me, well it would have gone back to being what it was before the deployment. I'm sorry, I know it was a long time away, but I can't do this anymore. When I dream of that kind of ecstasy at night only two hands can touch me and they are his, and no one else's. My heart is locked in place, a shock to me if ever there was one. I never thought anyone would get to me like that again, not after all I've been through. I thought my heart was beyond such things. Apparently not.