I want to get impossibly close to you
I want to entangle limbs until the edges melt
between where I end and you begin
and we're writhing in rhythm to our blood.
I want to drink you in
To be devoured by you
I melt into your body
All warmth, all wonder, all excitement
Throbbing to each other's breath and
Pounding to each other's pulse,
Riding the current of our Desire
Ashes we are and to ashes return,
But now while we are lit
with this scintillating spark
And life burns through us
let our bodies know each other
drawn ever closer by breath and touch and rhythm,
Twining together in slow and sensual rapture
Opening to the lust that brings bliss and peace
So we will not leave this Desire unfulfilled...
December 30, 2009
December 15, 2009
"If You Only Knew" by Shinedown
If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating heart
Before I lose you
I swear I've lived and learned
If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days we spent,
Nights we shared
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me
I toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I still believe
In is you, believe in is you
I still believe in you
Oh, if you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating heart
Before I lose you
I swear I've lived and learned
If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days we spent,
Nights we shared
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me
I toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I still believe
In is you, believe in is you
I still believe in you
Oh, if you only knew
December 13, 2009
FUCKING HELL!
Nothing feels good anymore. Life has lost its luster. Too many back to back disappointments, too much confirmation that I am as worthless as I suspected.
I hate you for doing this to me. Everything was FINE until you arrived. Now I'm so much more than broken. I never asked for this. You had some say in how I feel, you could've treated me much better. It didn't need to be like this.
I opened myself up to you in ways I haven't done with ANYONE, and I think you know what I mean. What you did, no one has done. You asked me once why women always make a man stop...it's because it really IS too good, and women save that kind of letting go only for someone they trust and love. THAT is why she made you stop. And that is why I let you release me.
Fucking HELL!!!!! I'd rather be walking around with needles in my eyes than endure this for one more second. I cannot tolerate much more!
I hate you for doing this to me. Everything was FINE until you arrived. Now I'm so much more than broken. I never asked for this. You had some say in how I feel, you could've treated me much better. It didn't need to be like this.
I opened myself up to you in ways I haven't done with ANYONE, and I think you know what I mean. What you did, no one has done. You asked me once why women always make a man stop...it's because it really IS too good, and women save that kind of letting go only for someone they trust and love. THAT is why she made you stop. And that is why I let you release me.
Fucking HELL!!!!! I'd rather be walking around with needles in my eyes than endure this for one more second. I cannot tolerate much more!
December 12, 2009
Love Comes in its Own Way
Today's horoscope seems to speak very specifically to me and to him. I'm not putting faith in it, but I DO however find it ironic.
Love tends to come in its own way. Sometimes passionately out of the blue, and at other times quietly and sweetly. The alignment of the planets suggests that you cannot force a particular relationship into being unless the other person really feels ready for it. You can keep phoning or writing, but unless they want to respond of their own free will, there is not a lot you can do. Try to adopt a zen attitude, and hang in there!
Love tends to come in its own way. Sometimes passionately out of the blue, and at other times quietly and sweetly. The alignment of the planets suggests that you cannot force a particular relationship into being unless the other person really feels ready for it. You can keep phoning or writing, but unless they want to respond of their own free will, there is not a lot you can do. Try to adopt a zen attitude, and hang in there!
December 9, 2009
Let the Music Play
The music was loud and it thumped in my chest, pounding my body so I had to hold the bar for support against its rhythm. Your eyes caught my attention from the other side, staring and penetrating, mesmerizing; I could not pull away from your stare. Your face so familiar to me yet unexpected in this place, not at all the person I was expecting to see here, not that I expected to see ANYONE I knew in here…
In utter astonishment at seeing each other, let alone in this crowded bar with this hard, loud music pulsing through us, we began circumnavigating the bar to get to each other. Our eyes remained locked lest we break the spell and discover that the other was just a mirage.
Could it really be you?
Closer, pushing people aside, we moved together until we were touching. It was really you! We were both shocked into silence at seeing each other in this place, at this time. It seemed so out of place and not at all like what we would have planned, but here we were anyway.
The crowd pushed against us, jamming my hip into the bar and spilling someone’s drink. As someone turned to make a fuss, you reached out your arm and pushed their face away with just one glance of your hand. It was so loud we couldn’t talk, really, and what could be said? What are you doing here? Well that’s a stupid question, clearly we both came here to see the band. Who cares….we are both here now….
Without hesitation, your hands went into my hair, pulling my head back. Your face came down on me with the urgency of so many days gone by since we’d last seen each other. Your kisses were deep and searching, hands pulling through my hair, grabbing me closer and closer. My hands were wrapped around your back, feeling you to see if you were real, that I wasn’t just having another fantasy about you. Convinced you were real, my hands sought out your skin sliding under your shirt; in response, your kisses grew deeper, more passionate and we were now becoming a distraction and irritation to the people around us. Not that we noticed.
Moving aside and away from the crowd, still kissing and groping we found our way to a dark corner next to the bar. Without warning, you pulled out your hands from my hair and pushed my shoulders to pin me to the wall. The music was pounding in me and my body was throbbing from your kiss; holding me hard against the wall, you began to rub against me in time to the music, my body rising up to respond to you. Convinced that I would stay pinned to the wall on my own, your hands came down and encircled my breasts through my shirt, your mouth still on me, now on my neck, on my ear, my shoulder, your lips and teeth pushing down the straps on my shirt. Our bodies were grinding against each other as the wall held us up from tumbling down to the floor. I could feel the satisfying hardness of you against me which just made me want you more; reaching around you I grabbed your ass with both my hands and pulled you closer and closer, grinding with you. Your hands traveled down and under my short skirt to discover that nothing else stood in the way. The music played louder, the bass and drums pounded our bodies as we throbbed to the rhythm that was pushing us harder and closer. In a moment your hand had you out of your pants; whether anyone could see this was beyond either of us even caring at this point. You lifted me up off the floor, my right leg wrapped around your back, my left wrapped around your leg. Searching with one hand, your fingers penetrated me, guiding the way for your hardness to reach me. I opened my legs as wide as I could and took you in, soaking and aching, pulling you inside, grabbing onto you and not letting go. My one arm went around your neck, the other behind me, grabbing for something on the wall, anything to hold onto as you penetrated me, our bodies grinding deeper, wetter, faster, harder. Your mouth was still on my neck and I thought briefly how you were going to leave a mark…but I didn’t care at all. I wished you would leave your marks all over my body so I could see the places where you took me, where you left behind your marks to claim my body.
Still no words, just breathless exchanges of “oh baby,” moans, grunts, the vibration of the music. You fucked me right where I stood, nailed me to the wall and flooded me with your essence, your excitement overflowing my insides, running down my legs. Still you kept me pinned, still you kissed me. We couldn’t stop, we didn’t want to stop, and so the music played on….
My Homemade Christmas
I'm just happy to say that none of the pictured lady bits belong to me....
See the website http://craftastrophe.net/ for more handmade horror!!!
Humpday Horoscope
LEO
You have a very special kind of love to give that goes beyond
your personal needs and your judgment of someone else.
You can clearly see people's flaws now, but you are quick
to accept them as part of the package. You could also be
willing to work with the fact that your desires are not being
fully addressed. Although the gloss of newness may fade,
the truth is more satisfying than an unrealistic dream
based upon a fantasy.
I find this interesting in that I ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!! LOL!!!
You have a very special kind of love to give that goes beyond
your personal needs and your judgment of someone else.
You can clearly see people's flaws now, but you are quick
to accept them as part of the package. You could also be
willing to work with the fact that your desires are not being
fully addressed. Although the gloss of newness may fade,
the truth is more satisfying than an unrealistic dream
based upon a fantasy.
I find this interesting in that I ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!! LOL!!!
December 8, 2009
On Risk
On Risk...
"If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?"
-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
It is a part of our nature to learn and to grow. And one way we do this is by taking risks. When we learned to walk, we risked falling down. We are constantly striving to better ourselves and our lives, and we can't do that by standing still. Our instincts urge us to move forward, to see what is ahead, to peek around the corner not knowing for sure what we might find.
December 7, 2009
God Please Help Me Mend
Fuck this. I'm so tired of trying. I'm so tired of my life being bleak because I loved someone too much. That's fucking ridiculous! It's love, it's supposed to feel GOOD!
My life is waiting for me. I have to move all this bullshit aside and just go on, like I've been trying to do, only sort of unsuccessfully.
I don't want any more men in my life. No one, gone. All gone. It was ballsy of me and it took some doing, but they're ALL GONE!
Now it's just me and my kids and my dogs.
And FUCK the rest of it. My heart needs time to mend.
My life is waiting for me. I have to move all this bullshit aside and just go on, like I've been trying to do, only sort of unsuccessfully.
I don't want any more men in my life. No one, gone. All gone. It was ballsy of me and it took some doing, but they're ALL GONE!
Now it's just me and my kids and my dogs.
And FUCK the rest of it. My heart needs time to mend.
December 2, 2009
From the Daily OM
I wish I had the comfort of knowing that ANYTHING that I do has mattered. When will I stop loving him? I see him in every line of this article. He's so beautiful...
Everything You Do Matters
The Ripple Effect
In a world of six billion people, it’s easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.
Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.
A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of positivity.
Everything You Do Matters
The Ripple Effect
In a world of six billion people, it’s easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.
Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.
A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of positivity.
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