I have hit an interesting snafu in my plans for self-sufficiency: I hate being alone. No, seriously. In fact, it's been 20+ years since I've really been alone. There have always been men somewhere in my life. This feels....weird. I almost said "naked" but that would give the wrong connotation.
First, I started thinking about how painful and pitiful it is to be a single parent, at least in my view. My idea is that parenting is really best done together. It's not an easy job and doing it alone is just SO not what I was hoping for. It annoys the garbage out of me that nothing I ever hoped for really has turned out right. I really believe that a family has two parents, and even though my kids HAVE two parents, we're not together and we don't function as a team. It just sucks.
After all that, I was thinking about how lonely it is not having anyone in my life. Let's take a good look at this: it's barely been a week since I decided to stop seeing everyone. One week. Good God!!! I am in sorry shape indeed if I can barely go a week without some kind of man in my life. The worst part is, I can't think of any other activities that substitute for a man. I mean, I can try and sure I have lots to do, but when it comes down to it, wouldn't I rather be spending time with someone I care about?
Now, where is he?
2 comments:
I have spent most of my life alone and understand the urge to grab someone/anyone. Of course you know better than me what is missing and that can't be good.
You will get through this, even if there are a few scars gained in the process.
I think you will be better in the long run although I do understand the fact that having someone there is always better than being alone. Now you know why I went through so many boyfriends before I got married.
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