Why You Are an Asshole

What makes a man an asshole? There are so many assholes out there that it might be hard to narrow down their characteristics. But in my experience and the experience of authors/psychologists Barry Duncan and Joseph Rock, the following characteristics are things that most, if not all assholes have in common:

1.  Insensitivity to their partners. It doesn't seem like much to ask to pay attention to what a woman likes and dislikes, and what makes her feel good or hurts her. These men don't.

2.  Selfishness. The other key to a decent relationship is the ability to put the other person's needs, wants and desires first a reasonable proportion of the time. These men lack that ability.

3.  Inability to take responsibility for themselves. When things go wrong between two people, both are at fault. These men either don't recognize their contributions or contend they can't help what they do. Then they figure out a way to blame you.

4.  Making their partner's lives harder not easier. One reason people get into relationships is to have someone to share things with and lighten life's burdens. These men add to those burdens in many different ways.

5.  Competition, not cooperation. Ideally, a relationship involves sharing and working together. These men compete as if winning and being right are more important than getting along.

6.  The need to control. The best relationships occur between equals who deal with each other out of mutual respect and a division of responsibilities. These men need to call all the shots. 

Well here's the big news flash - for me at least. Every exclusive relationship I've ever had has been with an ASSHOLE. What a relief! And here I thought it was just me.
Oh wait. Part of it IS me.
What I need now is:
a) to meet some men who are NOT assholes and
b) to stop choosing to spend so much time on men who ARE assholes.

Two extreme cases in point: my EX-HUSBAND and D.

I wish I understood the allure of the asshole. Are women such as a gender that we seek to CHANGE men like this? Do we revel in the idea of taming the wild stallion? I really have no aspirations like this, I'm just stuck in a horrible rut. As such, I've let some fantastic men walk out of my life. I've become a slave to some delusional idea of "soulmate" that I don't think exists. I resist turning to misandrony as a default after to many crushing disappointments, but it's becoming harder and harder. There is that old bumper sticker that says: "The more men I meet, the more I like my dogs." Well, given that even though I adore my dogs, they have pro bably taken years off my life just in worrying about them running away, and more recently with Champ eating lipstick, chocolate and other toxic substances (only to be totally fine later) - well, I STILL prefer my dogs at this point. Granted I'm not into the beast thing ---wouldn't that be an Appalachian Nightmare! - but they otherwise make me smile. Can't say that for any man lately.

Yes, I'm lumping all of you of the male gender into a herd and with good reason.
Prove me wrong. I dare you. Don't argue with me or try to lawyer your way through the logic; I've already come to my conclusion. I want to see physical evidence that men are NOT assholes. Actions speak louder than words.

I DARE SOMEONE TO PROVE ME WRONG!