What I Need

There are a lot of things I “should” be doing right now, probably things that I should do for my larger life to go on. I should go grocery shopping, for one thing; I should do some laundry; I really should clean the kitchen, but at least the dog keeps on top of the junk that falls on the floor!

For now, I’m not stressed about these things because my children are away for a week and I appear to have time. Should becomes a different equation when you are answering only to yourself.

This is different from something that I just want….I want a lot of things. Don’t we all? But I can also accept that the things I want have a 50/50 chance of coming through, after all everything has to be triaged accordingly. No, this has escalated beyond something that I want.

Psychologists define a need as a basic urge pressing for satisfaction, usually rooted in some physiological tension, deficiency, or imbalance and impelling the organism to action (the organism in the case being ME). Among the drives or needs of human beings are achievement, activity, affection, affiliation, curiosity, elimination, exploration, hunger, manipulation, maternity, pain avoidance, sex, sleep and thirst.

My inner world has expanded and I’ve become so much myself that I need to share it, need to have it accepted. I may be barking up the wrong tree but oh god I hope not. The need I have is unique, it cannot be applied broadly or filled just anywhere. It is special, specific, particular and quite individual. It cannot be imitated.

What I NEED right now, right this minute, is something that I cannot have and something that I cannot get. 
What I NEED has twisted up my mind and played with my emotions. 
What I NEED may be crazy.

What I NEED is YOU.